We Found Love in a Hopeless Place
by SmurfZXC714
Summary: Complete OOC/AU. T for anorexia. They met on the subway. Her life was in ruins but somehow he pulls her out in the least likely way possible. He saved her from herself.


** Disclaimer: I do not own Cammie or Zach, song belongs to Rhianna **

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><p><em>We Found Love in a Hopeless Place<em>

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><p>I had never thought I'd be this person; the person that has to see a shrink, the person that couldn't function properly anymore. I never thought I'd be <em>that<em> girl; the one who people talked about behind her back. I never thought I would by so mentally unstable that I couldn't pin point where it all started.

I never thought I would be the girl who almost killed herself.

But here I was, sitting uncomfortably in the therapist's office as my hand lay on my stomach, my nails biting through my shirt into my stomach as I gripped at it. It was a bad habit I'd gotten into, holding an arm against my stomach because I felt insecure— clawing at my stomach because I'd always hated the way it looked.

There was something wrong with me. I was the girl with an eating disorder. I was the girl with anorexia.

Did I ever think it would happen to me? No. Who would?

It's like shadow— it creeps up on you until you are submerged in darkness and you can't find the light switch.

That's how I felt. Like I was searching for the light but somehow kept stumbling along the way.

I never wanted to be this way.

But now that I am, I couldn't imagine it any other way.

I've been like this for at least three years maybe more; I was never really sure when exactly it started.

Maybe it was when I slept with that guy my sophomore year and my friends accused me of being a slut.

Maybe it was when I continued to sleep with any guy that asked for it and everybody called me a whore.

Maybe it was when the guys that I had once slept with called me ugly and fat.

Maybe it was when my little sister was ashamed of me, when I had always been her role model.

But most likely, it was when I heard the whispers in the hallways about myself. No one really said it to my face. They're high school teenagers; they aren't going to say it to your face.

Maybe I should have fought back.

Maybe I should have told some one.

I did neither.

I took it by myself, all my friends had ditched me, and my parents were to self-involved to ever notice me. And my little sister, Angie, gave up on me too.

I bottled everything inside.

I stopped eating.

I didn't slit my wrists, I didn't want to be labeled emo as well as skank and whore.

Kids are cruel.

Life sucks.

So you ask: what's the point?

I didn't know either.

I didn't find out until I turned eighteen. Three months ago.

His name was Zach, and I met him on the subway.

I was the teary eyed stick figured girl with disgustingly pale skin and sunken in eyes. He was the jack ass who was annoyed at me for crying.

To be honest the first time we spoke, he was a complete asshole to me. But that was what made me remember him. He didn't look at me with pity or disgust. He looked at me with an annoyed look.

"Could you knock it off?" the boy asked, glaring at me completely indiscreetly.

I was taken slightly aback, having never been treated so upfront like that. But it was the subway, and apparently people didn't give a fuck about the others.  
>However this boy sounded southern, like he were from Georgia or Alabama. He didn't sound like a New Yorker.<p>

And besides weren't southerner's supposed to be known for their southern hospitality?

I suppose not.

"Knock what off?" I replied, for once trying to not get verbally stepped on.

"The crying. You're bothering everyone in the car," he snapped.

I glared at him, surprised at myself. I wasn't one to stand up for myself. I usually took the abuse. I wasn't sure how to be strong.

"Then go sit somewhere else," I barked back, subconsciously speaking.

"All I'm saying is you aren't the only person in the world who has problems. Get off your high horse and suck it up."

I looked at him with wide eyes now. I couldn't believe how populously rude he was being.

"My high horse?" I replied, and felt a little bit of something light inside of me. A feeling I wasn't sure I'd felt before. "Get off yours! I'm having a fucking bad day."

"More like a week."

"Excuse me?"

He rolled his eyes, and leaned back on the side of the car. "I ride the subway every week too," he said. "I've seen you before. And never have I seen you smile."

I scowled at him.

"Mind your own business."

"You're disturbing the peace, that make it my business."

"Just go away."

"Quit crying."

"Leave me alone."

"Seriously, quit the whole defensive pouting look, it's starting to piss me off."

"You wanna know what's pissing me off?" she asked.

His eyes glinted with amusement. "I bet I can guess."

"You."

"That was going to be my guess."

"Has anyone ever told you you're an asshole?"

He smiled, "of course they have darlin'. Has anyone ever told you you're an uptight bitch who doesn't think of anyone but herself?"

I wanted to hit him so bad.

I didn't speak again, hoping that if I was quiet he would go away.

I heard him breathe a sigh of relief and I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye. Then I did something I hadn't done in a long time.

I laughed.

Like really laughed; with snorts and cackles all over the place. He looked at me like I was crazy, which I'm sure he thought I was.

"Sorry," I said, still breathy. The corners of his lips were turned up but he wasn't smiling. I could tell he wanted to.

"There's something wrong with you," he stated, and looked away.

I rolled my eyes.

"There's something wrong with everyone."

I looked at the shrink as I retold my story.

"So you liked him because he was mean to you?" Dr. Aaron asked, looking at me with a pair of deep set brown eyes.

"I liked him because he made me laugh," I replied, letting my arms relax at my sides. _And his southern accent. _

"And have you seen him since then?" he asked.

I nodded. "I see him every time I go on the train."

Dr. Aaron scribbled something down on the legal pad in front of him.

"And do you speak to him?"

"Sometimes," I admitted. "He always sits or stands next to me though."

"And he's real?"

I glared at him. "Of course he's real. What kind of question is that?"

"Sometimes people who already have problems can develop—"

"I'm not delusional," I cut him off. "I'm anorexic. It has nothing to do with that."

Dr. Aaron looked like he wanted to roll his eyes. "Alright. And you say he's your reason for living?"

I smiled.

"He's everything."

"And how well do you know him?"

"Very well."

"Can you elaborate."

"He knows everything about me," I said honestly, looking the doctor evenly in the eyes, all the other muscles in my body relaxed.

"Everything?"

"Yes," I answered. "And he accepts me the way I Am."

"I thought he was a jerk."

"I called him an asshole but I mean . . . he is. But he's got a sweet side. He's nice to me."

Dr. Aaron nodded his head and wrote something down again.

"Do you love him?"

"Of course I love him."

"Does he love you?"

"How would I know?"

"Has he ever told you he has?" Dr. Aaron asked.

I shook my head. "Zach doesn't say things like that."

"Why not?"

"Ask his shrink."

"He has a shrink?"

I shrugged. "I guess."

"Cammie."

"All I know is he's had some problems to. It would be dishonest of me to tell you what he told me in confidence."

"I'm not even sure if he's real."

I glared at him again. "He is real. And I'm not crazy. I'm anorexic. Shouldn't we be working on my self-confidence . . . or my diet?"

Dr. Aaron looked annoyed. "I suppose."

:*:*:*:

_One Month Later_

"Dr. Aaron," I sang entering the office.

"Hello Cammie," he greeted looking at me. I smiled.

"You look glowing. Have you gained weight?"

I glanced down at my figure, and tried to see myself the way other people saw me.

"Yes," I said and smiled again. "Two pounds."

"Excellent. He said and then wrote the numbers down on the chart he was making to track my progress.

"Guess what?" I said the excitement bubbling over my skin.

He looked at me. "What?"

"I brought Zach today," I claimed happily, then yelling out the door for him to come in.

"Cammie." he started.

"I know you still don't think he's real but—" I cut off when Zach walked in; in all his handsome glory. "See?"

"Zach?" Dr. Aaron asked, looking skeptical.

"Nice to meet you…?" Zach greeted and held out his hand in a proper southern manor.

"Dr. Robert Aaron."

"You have two first names."

"Uh yes . . .?"

Zach glanced at me. "Cool."

I grinned. "I told you he was real."

"Indeed."

Zach stood awkwardly to the side every soften giving me a weird look.

"Anyways," I started. "I just wanted to prove to you I wasn't delusional."

"You called her delusional?" Zach asked, looking amused.

Dr. Aaron nodded.

He smirked. "She is."

I scowled at him.

"What do you mean?" Dr. Aaron asked looking confused.

"Nothing," Zach said.

Dr. Aaron looked confused.

"I was kidding."

"Oh."

"I can understand where you're coming from though," he said and looked at me again. "She just starts blabbering about this gorgeous guy on the subway. I wouldn't believe her either."

I smiled at him because I knew he was teasing. I knew his teasing voice by now. But obviously Dr. Aaron didn't.

"But—"

"Ignore him," I cut in. "He has a weird sense of humor. We're going to go."

"But you're appointment—"

I pouted at him. "C'mon can't I have one day off?" I asked, batting my eyelashes.

"You're parents are paying—"

"They've got plenty of money, you'll still get paid."

"I guess. . ."

"Thanks," I jumped giving the awkwardly standing therapist a quick hug. "See ya next week!" I called on my way out, pulling Zach by the hand.

:*:*:*:

"You have one weird-ass shrink," Zach said as they walked through central park. I smiled and gripped his hand.

"He's nice."

"I still think he was hitting on you."

"No he wasn't!" I rolled my eyes. "He's my therapist."

"He's weird."

"You just don't like new people."

"I don't not like you."

"I'm not new," I pointed out. "And you didn't like me when we met."

He gave me a look. "Yes I did."

"So you're just an ass to everyone you meet?"

Zach shrugged. "You know it."

"But you aren't," I said to him.

He shrugged again. Then he turned his head forward.

"I love you," I spoke softly to him, knowing it would probably startle him. I saw his muscles tense and his head go stiff as he stopped walking.

He looked at me and I knew in my heart he loved me back, even if he couldn't say it. But he brushed my hair back and looked at me with his gorgeous green eyes.

Then he smiled a smile I hadn't seen on him. It was a loving smile.

I knew it was because then he said, "I love you too."

I grinned so side it made my cheeks hurt and I launched myself around him. He hugged me back but I could tell he was holding back.

I knew why.

"Zach," I said in his ear. "I'm not going to break."

"You're still so skinny I don't want to—"

"I'm better," I said. "You fixed me."

"I didn't."

I pulled back, making him look me in the eye.

"You are everything to me you know that?" I asked. "I am _nothing _without you."

"You don't need me," he insisted.

"I do. You made everything better, Zach. I don't think you understand how bad it was before. I almost died."

His eyes went soft. "I love you," was all he said and it was enough for me to almost melt right on the sidewalk.

"It really was bad," I said after a moment. "You can ask my therapist."

Zach looked at me.

"I am not ever going to speak to your therapist again—he freaks me out."

"He's a nice guy."

Zach growled.

I smiled. "He _wasn't_ hitting on me."

Zach just looked away and gripped my hand.

After everything I had been through I knew it was to get here; to this moment. Zach was my everything. I don't think I'd ever be ready to give that up.

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><p><em>AN: I really have no idea where this came from. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I know it doesn't have the greatest plot line but I've never read anything like it so i figured why not? So my first use of 1st person. How was it? Please lemme know!<br>REVEIWWW? _


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